{"id":828,"date":"2014-06-24T16:35:13","date_gmt":"2014-06-24T21:35:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coachesfinishingschool.com\/?p=828"},"modified":"2018-12-19T16:35:08","modified_gmt":"2018-12-19T21:35:08","slug":"speak-freely-serve-fully-stop-holding-back-in-your-coaching","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lynallen.com\/speak-freely-serve-fully-stop-holding-back-in-your-coaching\/","title":{"rendered":"Speak Freely, Serve Fully: Stop \u201cHolding Back\u201d in Your Coaching"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Handcuff-heart-l\"<\/a>As a concept, it\u2019s simple: If you flinch from saying what needs to be said with your clients, you\u2019re robbing them.<\/p>\n

As a practice however, it can be \u2026complicated.<\/p>\n

Because flinching, however slightly, is about protecting either your client or yourself. And the moment you go into protection, you are no longer available to connect in present moment.<\/p>\n

When you are not fully present and connecting, you don\u2019t have full access to all that you can sense, feel, intuit, discern, and notice in the moment.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have access to the sacred wisdom that lives deep within you, which means you don\u2019t have the same capacity to bring your coachee\u2019s sacred wisdom forth.<\/p>\n

If your inner radar screen is dimmed just a bit, or part of the screen is blanked out because you can\u2019t be completely present, you miss the nuances, the unspoken, and the subtle signs of growth in the moment.<\/p>\n

So you can see why is essential for you as a coach to be aware of when you flinch or constrict, however slightly, because left untended, that constriction takes you out of present moment.<\/p>\n

Notice a couple of key phrases I just mentioned: be aware of<\/i> and left untended<\/i>. I did not say it\u2019s crucial for you to ferret out all of the tender places inside that cause you to flinch and cut them out. Instead, I invite you to illuminate vs. eliminate so you can work with<\/i> vs. battle\u00a0 what is there.<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s do some illuminating: Think of times you know you have held back from speaking fully and freely with a client.<\/p>\n

Now consider why this occurs. There are several patterns I\u2019ve observed:<\/p>\n

1)\u00a0\u00a0 You have \u2013 like most of us – beliefs, old stories, and\/or cultural conditioning about what you \u201cshould\u201d and \u201cshould not\u201d say (or do).<\/p>\n

2)\u00a0\u00a0 It feels risky to speak freely, which triggers a sense of vulnerability. One example: You don\u2019t set a boundary with client who continues to cancel or \u201cno show,\u201d for fear of losing the client.<\/p>\n

3)\u00a0\u00a0 You don\u2019t know how to speak what needs to be spoken because:<\/p>\n