Yes, you, Coach. You with the huge heart so deeply committed to helping others be their best.
It is possible you are – inadvertently – robbing your coachees.
(Keep breathing and stay with me here.)
When you put the elimination of discomfort ahead of learning, you sell your clients short.
Here’s what I mean: We live in a world that tells us pain is something to be conquered. Overcome. Whether is it physical or emotional discomfort, notice the cultural messages urging you to get past pain and get on with …. whatever. Get to…a different destination or outcome.
The old paradigm says pain means something is Wrong. So as a coach, it is your job to Make It Better.
It is deliciously seductive to think your value as a coach lies in getting your coachee from pain to no pain in the shortest time possible. In other words, finding The Solution that allows your client to move out of discomfort asap.
Let that myth go. Now. Please.
A focus on the quickest route to comfort is an attachment to outcome and it reinforces the cultural thinking that the destination IS more important than the journey.
Although easing pain often occurs as a by-product of good coaching, that is NOT your job as a coach.
In order for you to live from this perspective and help your client achieve results that go WAY beyond feeling better, it is essential that you:
- Learn to trust the journey yourself so you embody and model this way of being. You’ll be far less likely to get hooked into Making It All Better.
- Cultivate your ability to see the beauty in what is. Remember the story about the little boy in the state of positive anticipation as he dug through a room filled with horse manure, holding the firm belief that, “With all this poo, there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
- Open fully to the learning available in the experience. Listen for the next deeper layer of truth or awareness being called to surface through a painful situation.
When you, Coach, integrate the notion that you are always in the right place at the right time, you will stop looking for the path (the answer or solution) and begin to recognize it as it unfolds beneath your feet. And the more you experience dynamic partnering with this unfolding path, the more you trust yourself, your process and life itself.
What a powerful gift to give your coachees! When you help others build self trust, even the smallest amount, then your coaching is productive in ways that change worlds.
If you want more on this topic, be sure to catch the audio from the December, 2014, Heart and Soul of Coaching program. It will be available for free replay until March, 2015.
And if something stirs within you in response to the notion of finding the beauty in what is, or of dynamic partnering with your unfolding path, it may be time to for a personal discovery session to explore your best options. Contact me to learn more.
In celebration of your perfectly unfolding path!
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