You’ve been there, I’ve been there and more than likely, so have your clients: Stuckville. A place no one wants to visit, much less live.
The experience of not being able to generate forward movement at can be frustrating, confusing and scary because it feels as if you are no longer in choice.
As coaches, we’re all about choice, right? We LOVE helping our clients grow their capacity to live from choice.
And when that does not occur, it can cause an uncomfortable chain reaction: you doubt yourself, your client doubts him/herself (and possibly you), you both doubt the coaching……(need I go on?).
Stuckville quickly becomes Suckville.
Believe me when I tell you it does not have to be that way.
Yup. Change your relationship with the experience of being stuck and you will unleash a powerful cascade of effect. Here’s how:
- Drop the wrongness. Stop making the experience of being stuck “wrong,” because it is, in fact, perfect. Allow for this possibility even if you can’t see or feel it.
- Face your own inner schtuff around this including your Inner Critic, or any fear or anxiety over feeling helpless. Invite the wisdom from these feelings so they become Trusted Advisors instead of additional voices in a dissonant chorus. Remember – your capacity for doing this with yourself will directly shape your capacity to masterfully coach around stuckness.
- Be very clear about what you are and are not responsible for as a coach. Remember “Establishing the Coaching Agreement?” It’s important for more than clarifying outcomes; it also helps delineate responsibilities: yours, your client’s, and those of anyone else involved.
- Be curious about more than the shortest line from pain to no pain.
What’s really going on?
Is there a deeper truth wanting to emerge?
Is the stuckness part of (or indication of) a pattern?
What is possible for this person at this time because they are not experiencing what they (think) they want.
- Reframe. After all, it may not be “stuckness” but instead a stillpoint, a much-needed resting place within which integration or gestation can occur. Or it may be a call to awareness to course correct or identify necessary resources.
By the way, when you stop fighting apparent non-movement, you do more than step out of struggle: you take the “suck” out of “stuck.”
Enjoy this article? Be sure you catch the expanded conversation from the May 15 Heart and Soul call (which includes a live coaching demo). If you are a member of the community, you will receive the post-call message with direct access to the recording.
If you are not yet a member of this amazing community of open-hearted coaches, join us here so you can catch all the richness we co-create each month.
In the meantime, take full advantage of any stuckness that comes your way!
To your coaching success!
Lyn
PS: Be sure you mark your calendar for the 3rd Thursday of the month so you can be with us for the next H&S cal live!
PPS: If you are collecting training hours toward your next credential or credential renewal, you will want to stay connected to the H&S calls. I’ll be making an announcement soon about how you can use these calls to add to your CEU hours.
