Have you ever noticed that the words “scared” and “sacred” are just one typo away from each other? I suspect this is no accident.

That same is true for “tired” and “tried.” As in…”I tried and tried until I was too tired to try anymore.” Actually, the mere notion of “trying” feels tiresome to me, as if there is an element of built-in struggle. car-stuck-in-mud

A third example: “Stuck” is really close to “suck,” and they are usually considered to go hand in hand:

It really sucks to be stuck.

 Except of course, when it doesn’t.

This is a biggie for coaches because we aspire to assist people who (often) have been trying and trying to get unstuck. In the process, their sacred lifeforce/creative essence can get sucked away, leaving them tired, frustrated, confused and disheartened. And really scared that, in reality, there is little they can do to change what they are experiencing.

Here’s where this gets really interesting, at least the coaches I know and work with:

You have a huge heart and you feel deeply, including – often – the pain of those around you.

 Now, if you are at all like me, you don’t go looking for ways to Feel More Pain.

Am I right?

In my lifelong battles with pain (and there have been many), I realized I tended to disconnect from myself and Life/Source when I was in pain, emotional or physical.

And when I felt my Jello™ get jiggled by a client’s pain, well….their pain added to my own put me smack-dab into trying and trying to get them to stop hurting so I could stop feeling the pain.

Can you say….attached to outcome?


So what’s a committed, conscious coach to do? How do you shift your relationship with pain so you can be present with your clients’ struggles with no attachment to outcome?

How do you see the beauty in pain and the sacred in struggle so you can feel confident of serving your clients’ highest good?

A couple of things:

  1. Learn how to make the most of the opportunity when your client is well and truly stuck, and-
  2. Make the shift yourself so you can allow your clients to access the exquisite gifts only possible when we meet struggle differently.

If you want to know more, you are in luck. In fact, this is the topic on The Heart and Soul of Coaching call for May 15, 2014. Join the live call or catch the replay here (this audio will be available until after the August H&S call)

If you are already a community member, you’ll receive a post-call message with immediate access to the audio.

Also, watch this space for the monthly article based on the H&S call, for those of you who prefer to get your learning nuggets in written form. You can catch the article from the April call (The Art of Appropriate Action) here.

And if you want to collect continuing ed hours for participating in the Heart and Soul of coaching, stay tuned. Announcements forthcoming!

In the meantime, may you make the most of any stuckness you encounter, whether yours or your clients’!