Going Beyond the Myth of the Magic Bullet

The Myth of the Magic Bullet: To find success or happiness, we must Quest to find the Magic Bullet, that special something Out There that answer the questions of our lives and makes us complete.

The Myth is a cultural myth, one we absorb, often unconsciously, from the world around us. It tells us we must look outside of ourselves to achieve success, wealth, love, and ultimately, self acceptance and peace.

This is a set-up for frustration. Like an insecure teenage girl anxiously seeking that perfect dress for the prom, we try on and discard jobs, relationships, and even self identities in our attempt to find The One that will give us what we seek.

You know you’re chasing the Magic Bullet when you tell yourself:
Somewhere out there is the: (choose)
a) Book, checklist, program
b) Teacher, mentor, guru
c) Class or workshop
d) Product(s): skin care products, hair style, tie, shoes, exercise equipment, car
e) Job in the right city that will allow me to live in the right house so my kids can attend the right schools

And if I can only find it, I will finally: (choose again)
a) Feel complete.
b) Be successful.
c) Accept myself as being enough.
d) Earn/deserve the love or acceptance of my father/mother/boss, etc.
e) Stop driving and pushing myself because I will Have Arrived, which
basically means the preceding four statements are true for me.

Can we reap a payoff from chasing the Magic Bullet? You bet’cha. But seeking fulfillment through this myth is like attempting to run a marathon while living on soft drinks. It is not sustainable because:

1) The answers lie within, not Out There Somewhere.

Ultimately, the answers to the questions of our lives lie within us. Yes, we may work with teachers, books and tools to deepen our awareness and our learning, but the point in this is to deepen connection with Self (not to make ourselves over in their image).

2) Looking outside of ourselves for The Answer or for validation is a form of self abandonment.

We seek the external answers and validation because we’ve been taught not to trust ourselves. When we stop chasing the Magic Bullet, we make a choice and a commitment to rebuild the old atrophied muscles of self trust.

3) When we look outside, we discount and disempower ourselves.

In the Quest for the Magic Bullet, we seek the Quick Fix for our lives. This reinforces the belief that we need fixing in the first place, that we are somehow broken, incomplete or inadequate.

4) Accessing our own wisdom is much easier when we stop self abandoning, disempowering, and self judging.

When we stop “checking out on ourselves” to find the Magic Bullet, we’re present to hear the small still voice inside. We reconnect with all that we know, and more importantly, all that we feel. Feelings are the “go juice” for our lives. They fuel our creations and guide us to our wisdom. As we start moving out of self judgment, we can be present with ourselves in each unfolding moment, where our wisdom can be found.

5) When we stop chasing the Magic Bullet, we step back into personal responsibility.

The Quest is a seductive form of personal irresponsibility. Through it, we seek someone or something to be responsible for the outcome of our lives and for how we feel. Examine the internal dialogue of the Quest: Maybe in the next job/relationship/new outfit, I’ll finally feel acknowledged/respected/loved/secure. When we choose to stop abdicating responsibility to something outside of ourselves, we make a commitment to Self, which is very responsible (and Self Loving).

The shift away from Questing for the Magic Bullet is a series of empowering choices we make:

• I choose to stop self abandoning and to stay present with myself in this moment.
• I choose to stop looking outside of myself for the Answers to my life.
• I choose to accept that, while there may be things I want to change in my life, I am complete.
  
• I choose to see that I do not need Fixing. I choose to stop self judging.
  
• I choose to practice trusting myself, and to listen for my own Wisdom.

Choosing this commitment to Self helps us stop chasing the Magic Bullet and start facing our deepest truths. We step out of learned helplessness and into our own power. And, perhaps most of all, we no longer avoid ourselves because we’re too busy having fun being present!

For additional resources on going within to access your wisdom and wholeness, go to www.lynallen.com.

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